Blogs

Me, Myself, and I Before, During, and After

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Deciding what to share when describing what growing up was like has got to be one of the hardest decisions. Last week’s writing I, for the most part, showed how I had a good old normal upbringing, or what I felt was normal anyway. (1*) Sad to say, a diary I started at age twelve showed how my heart put too much importance on finding a boyfriend.

Oct 1981 (Began my freshman year – 14 years old)

Can’t believe it’s been five months since I last wrote. Here’s a quick update. I took summer band for four weeks, met brothers Tom and Jeff. I was sort of with Tom until August, then Jeff and I realized we both wanted to have a relationship-type of thing. (Yep, I’m only fourteen) Went to camp, finding out Scott liked me again. Back to Jeff. He’s a sophomore, cute and sweet. I do admit, he does have his faults…

And about life now. I love high school!  I met so many new people. All those guys!  I love wearing different clothes every day. (Last week I shared how I went 1st through 8th grade wearing a uniform, so of COURSE I loved that change.) 

I’m working at Winchell’s Donuts now. It’s great! I feel guilty, though, every time I eat something there, being I’m on this calorie kick lately.

I’ll now fast forward to bits and pieces from my final writing my senior year.

May 1985 (end of my senior year – 18 years old) 

I graduate in twenty-nine days. I now know life is not easy at eighteen. I have my own car, went out with Jeff for nine months, attend Occupational Skills Center for a TV Communications course, work for Doug Fox Travel, and I love being an official Ball Girl for the Seattle Mariners. Will go to Highline Community College come this fall, and, of course, more confused about the darn love life.

I’m on my journey to understanding Christianity and what Jesus can do for me. Eyde and Willma are very religious now. Thankfully they aren’t too straight, though.

Is living with love important? I believe it is, but with each year passing, I still feel I’m going at it wrong. I think I depend on it too much. God will reward me, but when? I feel I am a great person. Why not now? Love does not come with a $145 prom dress, or when dancing with your prom date during a slow song. What’s the answer?

All through high school, guys were not just occasionally on my mind, but pretty much 24/7. Okay, maybe not a full twenty-four hours every day. A few hours went to studying, practicing my saxophone, or selling donuts when I worked at Winchell’s, but aside from that, deciding what guy to like took the majority of my thoughts my freshman through senior years.

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Reading all my writings in between these two have their ups and down. Family issues, friendship issues, who-I-like/who-likes-me issues, band, soccer, video/camera projects, and work issues. The list is endless of all I had going on inside my brain that made its way into my journal. But If I could only use one word to describe my overall high school life, I think I’d use…

To be continued.

1* – Click hear to read last weeks blog.

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The Word ‘Thankful’ All folded Up -Part 1

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Think of an extra-tough time you’ve gone through. Okay, maybe not the most joy-filled request.

Now, look at the definition of thankful: 

1. Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful – grateful and appreciative

2. of, relating to, or expressing thanks – a thankful feeling – thankful words

Curious why I’m asking you to think of an extra-tough time, as well as defining what thankful means? It’s to help you understand what got me—as years went by—to be closer to actually being thankful for these two, somewhat life-changing hardships I’d gone through.   (1*) (2*)  

Thankfulness. Do I want you to think that from day one I was filled with thankfulness when my teenage pregnancy soap opera started? Or, do I want you to think I was overflowing with thanks shortly after my brain-damaging encephalitis hit, that had me unable to even understand who God was TO thank? Am I saying that that one question, ‘Why, God?’ was nowhere to be found during both of those times? Of course not. As a matter of fact, if it could have been visible, “Why, God?” would have been bubbled over my head more hours of the day than not. I bet all of you reading this have had that bubble at least once, and that it seemed, at the time, impossible to pop.

God, having saved me when I was eighteen years old, was who I gave so many thanks to, as most things went by pretty smoothly that first year before these two time periods began. This verse fit perfectly:

Ephesians 5:2 – Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

But bang, things changed. I was so young in my Christian walk when I was hit with the first of these two trials. There had only been one year of God’s word and guidance before that larger-than-life trial occurred, followed by the next one only a few years later.

Being thankful for trials, along with understanding what God’s providence even meant, were both still hard to fully understand. It was hard to even find a little drip-drip-drip of thankfulness for either. Yes, I did sense God’s Fatherly care in both, but thankfulness that He decided to have me need that care sure wasn’t standing out. The word ‘thankful’ was folded up as many times as possible, put in the back pocket of those jeans I never wore.

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I knew God was holding me, but the fact that He had reasons for it all was hard to find as those early years went by.

Hearing those common words, ‘God has reasons,’ caused me to think ‘But what ARE they?’ That question was glued in my thoughts as every day, week, and month I was pregnant went by, and especially after every day, week, and month after my illness went by.

As time did go by, however, I—how shall I say it—started wearing those jeans I seldom wore, sensing something going on in that back pocket. Something was unfolding.

James 1:12 slowly began making sense.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

To be continued.

1* First trial –  Unplanned pregnancy

2* Second trial   – Brain Injury 

Why Start a Blog?

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Ever ask that question, why people start a blog? Here are a few of the many reasons I found:

1- To market or promote something

2- To establish oneself as an expert

3- To connect with people with similar interests

4- To make a difference

5- To stay active or knowledgeable in a field or topic

6- To make money

I’ll now add the reason that caught my eye: 

7- To help others.

Why did I notice that the most? Because that is the reason I have.

These types of blogs are written to help people going through similar situations as the writer has experienced. Many parenting and marital blogs are written, along with health and financial guidance. Many topics can fit into that ‘help people’ category. Everyone wishes to find blogs that encourage, guide, help, and even bring a smile. Well, that’s my goal.

One verse I strive to follow is from Matthew 7:12, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 

Being as I craved encouragement from other Christians during my unplanned pregnancy, those who truly could understand, I want to do unto others who are also looking for that. Thus, my blog.

I needed to read about Christians who felt like giving up but hung on. Thus, my blog for others needing that kind of encouragement. I wanted help finding a possible light at the end of my tunnel. Thus, again, my blog is written to bring that light to others.

Throughout many years, different women were asking for my story to help themselves, a family member, or a friend. Finally, after many requests, my story got underway to become a book. (*1)

I started my blog to help you, the reader, feel a face-to-face connection if you are going through these same type of ordeals. (*2) (*3)Even if it’s not an unplanned pregnancy, or a very tough illness, but something else is causing you to be anxious or worried, I hope my writings can help. 

One piece of hope I want to share in this post comes from a verse that was brought to my attention through a book I’m reading. I remember this often for the two ordeals I went through. Much peace it’s given me.
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Unexpected events can sure pull us out of our comfort zones, dragging us in a way that might hurt for a while. We could be one that feels very little, if any, speck of peace. Just try to remember, God’s plans are perfect. He understands and has reasoning for it all. That fact alone can help us re-animate our lifeless dreams. Clinging to God, who holds His children tight, gives rewards that can be astounding.

An unplanned pregnancy,  a brain damaging illness, or any tough trial is not the end of your life; it just might be the miraculous beginning.

I am going to be bold and ask anyone who’s willing to share this post/blog with your followers. Share it somehow, some way, believing it just might reach someone who needs encouragement or a listening ear.

Thank you.

*1 – Click to read what got my to start my book.

*2- click to read about my unexpected pregnancy.

*3 – Click to read about my getting hit with the illness Encephalitic.