I don’t even know where to start in explaining how so much has gone into my journal this week. Or maybe I should say two journals. Mine and my son’s. What? I write in a journal my son keeps? No. It’s not his journal he’s been writing.
Here. Let me explain.
You have my permission to call me crazy. Not have I only kept a journal of my own now for about thirty years, but one for each of my four children. Yes. A journal for each of them.
I know I know. Odd but I had to. After my first child was born, after those first few unforgettable months went by, no way did I want to write for only myself. I wanted Cassie herself to have a record of what stood out in her life and all those adorable happenings I was experiencing with her. “Why not do it for Trina, too” I thought as our second daughter arrived. Same for our third and forth.
No. Not one for our pet dog. I’m not crazy!
I’ve written little bits for years for each of my four treasures but don’t worry. I won’t share all the 7,928 adorable things about them I had written down. My two daughters now out of the house have these journals in their homes. My son’s? I’m still getting bit’s and pieces put in theres.
Back to writing in my journals lately.
In mine, I wrote about how signing a piece of paper, one year ago, allowed Carl to go two or three times a week for a full year to prep up before venturing off on a thirteen week boot-camp to, Lord willing, graduate and be a Marine. That year is up because as I write, that young man is in his second week of that boot camp.
Before that last hug goodbye last week, (with a few tears, yes) how unforgettable it was watching that group raise their right hand while saying they “Solemnly swear to support and defend the constitution of the united states” But I thought for sure I also heard…. and not forget my mom who will miss me ever so much. To remember that my mom will actually miss asking if I want french toast for breakfast and if I’ve yet gotten my clothes out of the dryer. I will obey the orders of the President of the United States . . . and think of my mom every time I am forced to eat a banana, if I am to take any garbage anywhere, or have a dream about my favorite M&M ice-cream cookies. . . . so help me God.
I know that’s what I heard Carl say white standing with all the other future Marines.
Next: Carl’s journal, knowing in some near future, it would no longer be mine to keep. It would be his once he’s settled on his own. I wrote first how he’s always been my ‘little baby’ being the youngest of our four, and remind him how he’s always been the odd ball of our four. One of many reasons is why I’m writing now.
He is the only one who never got tired pretending he was a police man. He never got tired, as he grew up of catching the bad guys. Pretend guns then turned into small BB-guns that, in his mid-teens, turned into huge air soft rifles. His later teen years arrived and his heart was wanting to get more serious. Being part of the Civil Air Patrol became his favorite organized group activity. I am proud to say he stood out to others there as one with a true heart to serve who ever he could.
Thoughts of being in the Air force began to blossom as his first drivers license was put in his wallet. Better yet, after much time studying, he realized being a Marine was more up his alley. The more he learned, the more his heart was set. God heard my prayers that He would guide Carl’s thoughts with these dreams if it was – quote – ‘meant to be’.
Now don’t think I just jot down on paper all these thoughts and that’s it. Nope. Impossible.
Day in and day out this future Mom of a Marine still has worry along with excitement to what the next five years could hold. But thankfully verses come to mind that I think about for him –
Such as – Deuteronomy 31:6 – be strong and of good courage, … for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you’
Now – just to find the right words for me to remember when I really don’t feel like going to the store, wishing I could just text Carl, “On your way home could you just stop by a store and get . . . (what ever that one thing is) and, of course, more of those M&M ice cream goodies.”